In careers, romantic relationships, etc, we might settle for something a step above or similar to what we knew before, because at least its not as bad. Add a hefty sprinkle of guilt for feeling that way, since Im fully aware of my safety and blessings in the moment, and you have the tension of right now. My experience just has a little Dateline flair. The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . I got that vibe too absolutely. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Same to you, other quiet ones. Happy Tuesday from Tennessee! For those who are unfamiliar with psychopathsand narcissists, this is one way they succeed while minimizing damage visible to the public eye. So, that felt oddly relieving. (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. Religion gave Dick a tool to further abuse her and kept Sara niave and unquestioning. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. Pleaded for him to give it some time. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. I got major fundie-lite vibes from Season 1 (Sarah and Dick). Season 9 features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery who the f*ck is Ardie? I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. !" bc wanna Google the MF. It says, Youre safe here. Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. My brain hurt and I wondered if Id found its capacity when I was informed that it was now time to change the physical look of my hands while they were doing the impossible. Truth broke walls I couldnt scale and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power to rescue. Why did Mimi And Jake Gravbrot get divorced? (Im obviously an empathetic person, but even I secretly rolled my eyes in those moments!) Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. Broken Cycle Medias owner and founder, Tiffany Reese (lookieboo), has more than 51.5k Instagram followers. Cali Trepp and Tomas Buenoss Relationship: Find Their Dating Life And Where They Met? (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. Tell everyone on your staff to treat Mark McKinnon like a contagious disease. Heres the biggest revelation of many this summer: I am deserving of my dreams, and on top of that, Gods for me are bigger. Our hearts. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. I remember finally mastering it. Outwardly hes a good person, Ive heard or read multiple times. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. He was extremely generous with his resources and compliments. Play Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Thats how Ive felt about writing again. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. Me a little smaller than before. something was wrong podcast sara picture. Jakes mother, a single parent, used to live with her parents. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) Hed lied to his family about my job, inflating my position and giving me a title Ive never had. Love is what rescued me. You're not alone; there are men who are open and will freely be there to listen & walk with you. It wont always be super serious around here. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. Or experiencing fulfillment. Seeing our potential and discovering what were truly capable of. I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. Stress is never an excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a genuine apology. The pain of wondering and uncertainty is realand often buried deep. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! Women were not created to be helpmeets, as many in the homeschool community taught us to look so forward to being. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. You [everyone] in the beginning.. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. My mom still references the night she and my dad told us they were giving us money for the wedding. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts. What an injustice. or to justify a divorce to their church. Podcast Reach. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. It breaks my heart. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. So He can enjoy us again as shimmering reflections of Him as we were in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed. They looked too harsh. I would also have to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw a blank in front of crowds. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Kailyn and Jake grew apart since Jake wasnt loyal to her. He responds. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. Coming to a podcast near you that will knock your winter socks off. It's wild because this was suggested to me by Spotify YESTERDAY. Jesus said to approach Him as children do. Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. Jake Gravbrot is a photographer and photojournalist who produces clandestine media. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. He looked at me for a moment, then a soft expression came over his face as he said, Me too.. I had been slowly and systematically brainwashed over several months to question my reality and believe I was a piece of work, so there was a lot of repair that needed to happen. Apple Podcasts unveiled the season 14 audio trailer for Something Was Wrong. on 13 October. Please read ALL the rules before posting! (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) Well, apparently he could hear me (oops) and he asked who I was talking to in the bathroom. episodes discover Most Recent October 20, 2022 43 min Download S14 E1: His Moods Really Swing Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. He just needed to get out. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). Without something to work toward, we wither. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. I stopped listening after they had broken up and she kept like, contacting his family and basically acting like it was her responsibility to rehab him or make him understand why what he did was wrong. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. According to Omari Salisbury, the converging media allegedly fired Jake Gravbot when unnamed sources said they were protecting him. Hello, and thank you for your submission. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! They use the good to outweigh the bad, especially if there are no outward signs. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. I was told once by someone who was praying for me that she saw me living behind a fence. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. Its not that religion is bad but when she was primed to believe men knew best and were in charge. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. The answer is absolutely yes. On TikTok, Jake has several videos with a total of roughly 61.7 million views. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. Jake went to a private Christian elementary school where his classmates and teachers liked him. It wasnt until hours later, at dinner (I still remember the really cool Asian restaurant we discovered in Oakland), that he tilted his head like a parent would toward a child and said, When are you going to talk to me about what you saw earlier today? The weirdest conversation proceeded. Something Was Wrong Podcast now has 50.5k followers, 39 posts, and 179 followings on Instagram. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. A subreddit for snarking on fundamentalist Christianity and extreme Christian views. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. I was so excited for an entire weekend with a couple of my favorite people! I was stunned. We need people and things that are rays of hope in our lives. Seems sus. Wouldnt a Christian want to try the best they could to ensure others are not hurt by this person? Not just basics, but specialty items he wanted to try. I still remember the shrug of his shoulders when I peered around the freezer door and asked him about the organic vodka (does organic even matter at that point? I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. @Ramonaslefteye. Im thankful for this past year, because my God is quickly turning a dark time completely around into something beautiful. It was a scary piece for me. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. In Season 14 of the show, an accurate account of Seattle-based hairstylist Jake Gravbrot is presented. Jenna Dewan Leaving The Rookie Rumours: What Happened To Bailey Nune. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! Pretty dang quickly. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. 6h. But a covert does want you to feel sympathy. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. No credit card needed. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. As an ex-Evangelical, there are a lot of dog whistles that indicate the young woman being steeped in evangelical purity culture. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. (Opus. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. In fact, hope wasrestored because confirmation poured in that I was not crazy! Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. (I thank God for my lil bubble community all the time, by the way.). With opening the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because your freedom and empowerment matters. Is that person you met online really telling the truth? Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. The excitement quickly faded when unexpected flashbacks accompanied the unboxing of last winters clothes, and with each cooler day, I started digging my heels into the ground to slow down the deja vus invading at random times. Its still happening. I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. It was healing, though, to go back to the beginning and understand how I could have fallen for such an insidious trap. Its not gonna just go away. I want my friends to feel safe. At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. Jesus said that whoever loses their life for His sake will find it. Fall has always been a favorite. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead teams, and launch businesses that have changed the world we live in today. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. Listen Now Season 12 I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) Air is huge. More Than Work. Later, Kailyn and Jae divorced, and she then wed another man. It was just a misunderstanding! I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 175 posts 20.5K followers 206 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, relationships, funny things OUT NOW: The S&P Podcast! Him. Rose Ayling-Ellis Deaf Story, Net Worth, Boyfriend And How Did She Learn To Speak? Rather than bottle everything up and ruin our lovely afternoon together, I shouldve communicated better in order for him to simply explain so we could move on. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? They move on to their next conquest, leaving behind a shell of a person who thinks their lack of direction is their own fault. Its not gonna just go away.). Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. Its very real. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! We dont belong to sin or the world. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. With things being different, this means the stage is being set for those who have felt displaced, in waiting or unseen, perhaps with a story or passion but no clear platform for it. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we do the things we were put here to do. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. As believers, we have the power of Christ within us and when we are rooted, standing firm in our identity, it is a force that can withstand anything. Jake Gravbot, raised in a religious home, struggled due to his disagreements with his stepfather. Podcast Discovery . Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Take me back to the beginning every single day. If you could see what I see. I was simply drawn to it. Something felt different. Some of my darkest days have been marked by a unique sense of His presence I dont feel other times. It has nothing to do with exposing him as a person, but everything to do with re-constructing my own sense of reality, up from down, right from wrong.
